A Letter To All My Women In Waiting

 

Hey girl.

          I feel you.

                    I hear ya.

I know.

Same.

“The Wait” can be tough. You know exactly what “wait” I’m talking about: the wait for a [dream] man. Allow me to remind you that single life can be the best time of your life, how dope you are and that there's hope: good men actually do exist (not to be thrown into the category with unicorns, pixie dust and centaurs). Make your "wait" worth it: trust the timing of your life, and in the meantime, remember that on a scale of 1 to 10, YOU are an eleven. 

 

Here are 10 Critical Things to Do While You Wait:

 

1. YOU. Yep – you read that right: do you.

A relationship can’t fix your singleton problems. Don’t wait until you’re in a relationship to get motivated and start living life more passionately. If you're not doing it now, you won't do it then. Invest in your dreams, goals and [other] relationships now — they’re worth it. They deserve it.

 

2. Have Some Chill

Relax. It’s happening. Believe that. Say a prayer and see #1.

 

3. Believe That Good Men Exist. 

They're around. And they probably don't want to be with a girl with a negative attitude who walks around barking "all men are dogs" every day. Just sayin'...don't punish a stranger for an ex's mistakes.

 

4. Get Physical

Do what you can to get healthy if you’re not, and do what you must to stay healthy if you are. Would you wanna date you? I’m talking cardio, crunches, - get that booty [and everything else] into shape while you wait.

 

5. Have an Epic #GNO (Girls Night Out)

Call up the squad and have them roll through. Have a movie night, do your nails, read magazines, take those goofy Facebook Disney personality quizzes, try makeup testers at the mall (I highly recommend Sephora for this), go to a local lounge and dance…just do something. Get in good company and cut the pity parties. Depression is a deep, dark pit that is easy to slip in to but tough to crawl out of, so keep yourself light and lifted by hanging with your best tribe.

 

6. Be Found

The theme of this year’s global women’s conference at my church is about being “Found”, which made me think about how good it is to be just that…found. It’s cool to make yourself available, but let a man come for you. Be nice. Encourage him. But don’t chase him. Feel me? And when the right one comes along, trust me, you'll know.

 

7. Reassess your “List”

Are you being realistic? Do you have 25 must-haves on your list? Prioritize what’s important and don’t compromise on those things, but don’t put him in the friend zone because he missed your strict height requirement by six centimeters.

 

8. Remember How Dope You Are

Okay first of all he’s lucky you’re even interested in him. Secondly, write out a list of your best qualities. Things that make you special, things you’ve been complimented on, things that would compliment someone else. You are the bee's knees. The cat's meow. The meme's words (ohhhh I like this one!): act like it.

 

9. Help A Sister [or Brother] Out

It sounds crazy but sometimes the best way to get yourself out of a hole is to help someone else climb out of theirs. Volunteer. Give someone a ride. If you’re great with resumes, help a friend apply for that dream job. Are you a hair stylist? Do someone’s hair for his or her “big night," free of charge. It’ll take the focus off your “issue” and strengthen your other relationships. And who knows, they might end up helping you more than you’re helping them.

 

10. Anything

Seriously – you can do anything you want. Think about that. Sounds basic, but you are a free bird. Do the things you’ll wish you had when you were single. Road trips. Late night movies. Shopping sprees. The things you don’t need to check someone else’s schedule to do, the spontaneous things you can pull of because they only involve, well…you. You’ll look back and be glad you chose to enjoy and live your best life instead of wasting that time moping around.

 

Ok. Get out of here you P.Y.T., you. You've got some living to do...